The Last Post

its more than just walking away
or having said all i've wanted to say
i've come to the end of so many chapters
here i leave my past falters

i've come to a close here
i'm turning forward without fear
the sun has perhaps risen
i'm stepping out of my prison

i look back with fondness
these memories i will treasure
this place now a memorial
of all my adventures

here i smiled, cried, laughed, bled
these pieces of me bearing testimony
to all whom i've met
who left their marks on my heart

but alas, somethings must come to an end
this place is no exception
i'm leaving now as a man
perhaps some sort of graduation

here i say my goodbye
no more records of sighs
or happy times or memories
goodbye pieces of existing me.

melt my heart
my words elude me
i just don't know where to start

Last night I dreamt of you
Felt like yesterday we were still happy together
Do I look back too often?
I’m blinded by my own ridiculous hopes
I just want to be with you

To watch you sleep once again in my arms
To be there and tell you that I care
To hold you when the world’s falling apart
That somehow, I’d have your heart

These days we’re far too near
But the distance grows painfully so
I look on with sadness, these tears
Somehow, I’m a source of your fears

I write too much history
Letting it all affect me
Here I lie missing you
Its something I’ve grown too used to.

I’m glad to have seen you and spoken to you
I know you don’t feel the same as I do
I can only hope for the best
And know that someday you’ll waltz away

what do you see
when you look at me
someone that makes you turn away
making you hold back things you're no't supposed to say

such paradoxes make life
i still look on thinking its not over
thus the source of my strife
perhaps to follow me forever

what do you see
this man who once had dreams
a man who now is seldom happy
or so it seems

here i remain thinking about you
am i in love with you or an ideal?
i take myself so far away when you're near
the further i am, the closer i hold you dear.

couldn't you be nearer than this distance
from singpore to tokyo
its too much to take for my soul
i wish i knew far more than appearances

is your heart still broken, have you healed
is your smile just a smile
or hiding something more
i dont want to leave
or does my persistence
rile you?

elizabeth (one year later, and i still love you)

some people say i haven't let go
some people look and say such a poor soul
through this time i've grown way too old
one year has gone by, perhaps way too slow

your name still lingers on my lips
sometimes i awake with the taste of your kiss
i wish there were better scripts
that somehow this will end in bliss

some people say i havent accepted
some people say i'm foolish to have waited
i know this time wasn't wasted
because it was on Him that i waited

liz i wish it weren't so awkward
sometimes at night my heart still hurts
liz i realise its you i miss
i wish i could skip to the ending without going through this

have feelings messed up my psyche?
maybe somethings are so plain to see
but somehow in grief i've missed
all that trasnpired in the midst

is it love or delusion?
i fail to make a proper conclusion

EJ i wish i was where you are
these places bring back more than i can take
it doesnt matter how far
or how many times my heart will break
i still want to be with you
no matter what has been said

joanna

your name fills my mind
thoughts of you that overwhelm
i realise i'm missing you
that i want to be with you

joanna did i ever tell you
how i love getting lost in your eyes?
joanna i wish things were different
that i could hold your hand
and say i love you

tonight i'm thinking of your smile
your laugh, your hair and the way you move

do you still think of me?
what do you see?
one year on,
i'm where i was, perhaps with the same song

letters of pledged love
stored away so close to reach
the pieces that serve
to remind me of what once was

and i shake my fist towards the sky
feeling the rain pouring down
heaven is too far away from my sigh
my anger threatens to drown

here i ask why againe to silence
why the pain, why this mess
one year on and im still here
how much has changed?

i scream i shout but there is no response
this anger that burns, the resentment agaisnt the silence
i look up in defiance
rging against the One who gives me breathe.