for sophia

two years on and she's still running
chasing the broken pieces
dear girl, hold them like water
it hurts to see ure no further
than two years before

sophia, im praying for u
it hurts that bad, i wish your first love
went along that much better
sophia, so many care
let Him heal, let it be
its hard i know it is

through the fields and deserts
this life brings, one more scar
on top of many more
smile more, thats the way you are

sophia, dont let the past hurt
dun hide the tears dear girl
let Him touch and heal
sophia, im sure ull find that someone special
im praying for u, and hoping
ull be better soon.

letter box

buried by the dust from time
reading one by one again
feeling the mending
feeling so warm
letters from the past
they never recorded any happy ending

letters to remind myself not to be bitter,
to tell me i've failed, one two and three
regrets and parts of me given and broken
love letters where'smy happy ending?

letter boxes oh so full, once a heart
this heart of mine was like that too
try as i might, search as far as sight
maybe not tomorrow or the day after

love lost, love not found. here i am
writing a sad love song.

count

count one, count twice
not even seventy seven would suffice
the Son of Man has enabled
total forgiveness to be no fable
and upon that cross,
the power of death He disabled

come on in, join in the party
the celebration of life in the fullest
you dont ever have to feel lonely
in the presence of the Greatest
our sins have been far removed

count once, count twice
not even this lifetime would suffice
to know the number of
blessings He has showered
even when giants towered
He has empowered
so that we may not be conquered

tonight

tonight, here by myself
noisy outside but i cant respond
i've run so far so fast
from You and toward You

but i know, i have nothing
apart from You
for what ive gained, what i've lost
are nothing compared to Your beauty

tonight Your light blinds me
once again im humbled by Your majesty
a God who loves so deeply
despite knowing all my sin

take me as i am, drown me once again
Your mercies ever so new,
my sins ever so persistent
Your love ever so insistent

love song

the songs that represent
that bring pieces of my heart
memories that have been stirred
i cant even listen, sometimes
its too difficult

so here i sing, words that dont come out
articulation broken by dreams
that i'm learning to let go off

i cant believe how easily youve forgotten
but its better that way
i cant believe how easily you let negativity in
but its better that way
i cant believe how easily you turn away
how easily im left behind
to ponder, to cry, to wonder

but now in the pile of broken memories
broken dreams an broken pictures
you feel its better that way.

so here i sing, on bended knees
in gravel that cuts so deep
a love song that was, now isnt
to a sun that sets and a winter that dawns
i sing, cause somehow, it comforts me

the love songs that play
they cut into me
this memory
was i wrong to fall in love?
let me back in time, let me undo all the wrongs

oh the pain, the suffering
of a love that maybe shouldnt have occured
a prayer that wasnt answered
a heart thats very much cheated
these tears that fall, coated in blood
of a heart so broken, of a man so in need

and i sing, whispering so
what was once our song
i sing, softly,
where no one hears me.

my apology

so here i am to say im sorry
please accept this apology from me
its the best i can do
but i know the wounds are too much to heal

this my irresponsibility
saying words without thinking
exploding with no sense of my surroundings
i dont know how u'll forgive me but please do

one too many times, expectations held too high
i come crashing down again, from places too high
one too many times, love thats not right
Lord Jesus wont you be my light

so here i am to say im sorry
wont you please forgive me
i cant take this silence anymore
risking this friendship

im sorry i dunno how to deal
i dunno why i still feel
this way...throw it all away...
throw it all away...

and i still grope around for my answers
feeling the hurts deep down inside
stumbling around

im happy for you
that you've got what u needed
the freedom and the healing
the answers too

its just that im left, left alone,
groping, wondering, whats in it for me
so much given up but it wasnt worth it at all
here i drift away, away once more

i stay empty as ever, wishing things were different
they cant get any worse.
call it self pity, call it a childish want for attention
u cant understand it with busyness and on a higher platform.
words alone, words alone cant soothe any hurt..

pierce

how it pierces the human soul
when no ones around to defend and stnd by
i feel it deep within, the shadows overcasing
the reminder of the life i live
and cant get out off
just the four walls, in a world so far off
from ideal.