You take me, even though i hurt You
nothing can keep me from You
no matter how much i know
i'll never grasp Your mercies
how You allow me in Your presence
with new clothes to wear,
clothed in the blood of Jesus
how You love, how You treasure
mighty are You, You will accomplish all You set out to do

even though the storms rages, even though i sin and stumble
You are determined, You remain King, Lord of all over.
You uproot the seeds sown in bitterness
may Your name be praised.

cries from a bitter man

i ask why, how can this all happen
what was once so beautiful
now alls left is a broken man longing after someone
who's gone, who's hurt, who doesnt want me around
even though i can be, as was once before

painful memories, celebrations supposed to be due
but now not anymore, its been taken away,
wrenched from my heart, tearing me apart
a soul that has been crippled, limping on

and i ask once again, feeling the bitterness once again
how can you do this, how can You? do you care? do You care?
i dont know how to go one, youve changed so muich of my life
and now youve gone, fearful, im torn inside out

its hard to smile that much, roses that have withered
age where there once was youth
resentment and regret where joy once filled
just a shell, just a faithless man, on his knees
thats what i've become, do you look on?
i cant pretend that nothing has happend.
im not you, i just cant pretend.

and i ask once again, how do i get on
abandoned, left behind, are you there?
are You there? is there hope for me?
what i know is tested, its hard to pass

how could you, how could you, how could you
i never knew, this side of u.

when the cries of an empty soul
accompanies the sounds of a breaking heart
in these four walls, in human limitation
when pride and shame mock, idols to be felled.

the comfort that surpasses all,
even though all my dreams seem so unfulfilled
even if the wounds gape and yawn
the great divide has been bridged
by One greater tha my sin and hurts

when i dont know what i need
You come in and fill me up
when i am so unfaithful
when i cant believe
help me to believe!

the presence of a God so mighty
im astounded, and questions remain unanswered
but i have You instead.

here i wait, a heart that's broken, a desparate offering
in pieces i come, with so much in my hands, scars and wounds
to still my soul, to give my all.
to receive, to satisfy, here i am, here i wait

how it pains my heart and how can this be
all i give to You, i shall quarrel no more
i await for my hearts still with her.
is it Your will that i wait? oh that You lead me

here i wait, for truth, for peace, to quiet the storm
and even though it rages on, You are still my God
faithful and true, You satisfy me and break me once again
here i wait, do i wait for her? even if i do not get answers
i will press on in You.

and yes i will wait upon You, in heart, in mind, in prayer
i will wait to see Your plans for us
to see what You will do, i will wait now for You
for i wait upon You, to show us the way.

do u still care?
tell me im not alone in what i feel
the shaterring of hearts, can they ever be healed?
i still want to see you more often
though not from a distance
feels like we got it wrong

tell me how you feel oh please do
maybe im not the loser in love
how can i say i care when i cant do anything
dreams and hopes, im still waiting
these feelings i have for you
are very much a part of me

i dont know how things will turn out
but upon Him i will wait
to see how things will turn out
will i ever be with you again
or will someone else take that privilege?

do believe in miracles? do u think theres hope for us?
do u think maybe one day we'll walk hand in hand once more?
is it so wrong to hope? is it wrong to wait?
why do i still want to be with you? do u want the same?

thirty days

its just been thirty days
but i still want to be with you
hoping against all hope
thinking about you everyday
maybe im not used to it
or maybe its just you
but i still wanna be with you

thirty days dun do nothin
thirty days aint much
wonder how i'll feel next year
its deep inside of me
i still wanna be with you

do you understand the pain im going through
i wish i could be on the other side
dun just leave me here alone
did u even bother trying to understand?

its so much easier for you to just go
leaving me alone, hurting once too many times
just the year wasnt enough right?

these questions i bear
promises made and days that have yet to go by
will i turn back one day and call myself foolish?
or will i look back with the one i love
and praise His holy name?

how do i go on from here
so many years more to go
here i walk on with You
i can only trust with my limitations

these answers that i will see one day
promises fulfilled as You prepare my heart
though i see them not, not now, not sure how,
i know You will carry out whats best

my heart yearns, it aches still
oh how the wounds have healed
but love must go on,
must struggle through.

as You hear my cries, though sometimes
i know not the language to put them in
and i still praise You
no matter what i've been put through
no matter all that will happen

what do you do when you wanna be there
to hold, to cherish to reverse time maybe once again
when you care for her even though things have changed
but not everything changes

wheres my second chance, or the promises
oh wait my soul wait upon Him, upon love's wings
is there more that i can do than hope and pray?
sometimes waiting is so important
a lesson im taking a lifetime to learn

what do you do when she's broken and you're so far away
leave the phone on and wait and pray
rest on His bosom like the child you are
laid down are my plans and dreams and hopes
desires and wants and needs.

wheres the years gone past? lessons learnt
scars and wounds healed by a Savior
locusts that have come and driven away
a garden in replating a room being refurbished

the road i travelled on once again
the same road with many memories
the same ride im in with familiar faces
but its me thats changed

and i revisit these places, seeing how we used to be
the happy times and those in tears
the dreams once had, and still do, amazingly so
waiting upon the Rock of salvation

do you remember the bench overlooking that pond?
or how many hours we spent talking on it
the places visited, the times cherished
oh how i shdnt regret, cause we didnt know
how we hurt but its a lesson learnt to prepare
who knows what's to come?

this road i travelled on today was one i spent time on
how it was used to mold me.
the callouses of the heart broken off
but the feet and hands protected from blistering

and when i run my hand across what once bled
i feel the pain no more, but instead
pieces that were put back in the right places

from reminiscing, i look, far and away
beyond my future, beyond my plans,
up to the hills
from where my help comes from, the maker of the heavens and earth

phone

that dial tone after it all
in the silence a cruel reminder
that the next conversation will have to wait
i push the receiver far away from my ears

a dead tone in the cold air
it doesnt break the silence
it doesnt cover the sound of a breaking heart
when goodbyes arent ever good
thats when the dial tone hurts more than a cut

i put the phone down as fast as i can
to make sure i cant hear whats on the other end
to drown out the sounds that i make
and the hurting the phone gives

i wish

i wish time could turn back
then maybe i can right all the wrongs and prevent today
i wish i could still be there
or fly round the world a thousand times over
in hope that things done could be undone
i wish my wishes could come true!
then maybe i'd be holding u now
how i miss ur head on my shoulder

how the hands of time pierce me so
how sharp how bitter.
i wish u were with me even now

how i wish.

i still.

i still want to be there for u, to be someone special
theres so much i dont know what to do,
want to listen and to protect and to care
just that now i cant do so like the past

but i'll trust in God i'll do away with small thoughts of Him
i'll believe in large thoughts, that He is good and has a purpose
even in these tears, even with these desires, as strong as ever
in God i'll trust.

still wanna hold u when u cry, to tell u that everythings gonna be alright
still hope to do that now and then, still wanna hold your hand
i still miss you like i always did
how can i wait how can i fall out of love?

but i'll trust in Jesus, he who commands my destiny
who knows me and how weak i am, oh the weariness i feel!
HE understands it all and i'll trust your heart with Him
why must it be this way, how can You say its not over?
its You i'll seek, its You i will trust
and i will declare of your goodness

these broken pieces, i'll let You mend
Lord, hear our cries, please send Your healing rain
upon her, upon us...

will you

will you let Him in?
will you remember who He is?
will you trust and obey?
even in the pain.

the God of ages, lets praise Him in all seasons
even though He leads us to fires or on broken roads
will you praise Him in the pain?

elizabeth

from the heart, this words couldnt be anywhere else
no regrets, no not even one for falling in love with you
oh how my heart feels torn but in God i trust, i trust Him with you
in the brokeness of separation, of different levels His hand holds yours

can i say it one more time, i love u, and with these words i know we mean it
on this path we have to go, apart, painfully, hear Him declare "I AM"
who was and is and is to come, who never changes, who has poured out HIs love
giving us Jesus, elizabeth, how beautiful a name befitting you
may you praise Him in the storm, may His spirit enable you to praise Him at all times

even if i could go back in time, i will not change anything about you, about me or us
im thankful for all He's odne in our lives and all you've done
the smile that swept me off my feet, the eyes i longed to look into
such a wonderful chapter in our lives, im glad u came into my life and heart

elizabeth, i wont go on looking for anyone to replace you,
till God tells me so. you're still special in my life
oh elizabeth how my heart aches but we are not alone
what u would give to see you many more times, to hold you once again

but here i let go, of you of us of these feelings, to the God
who gives and takes away, to the great I AM, to my risen Lord
elizabeth may you be blessed, ask for more from Him
dance when you can, even in the storm, dance on for HIm

be who you are, for God is glorified when u are u
cherish those around you, serve with gratitude
whenever the tears threaten to blur your sight
may Jesus wipe them away.

elizabeth, may God bless you, oh how goodbyes are so hard to say

when Your mercy falls

when Your mercy falls like rain
when its so much more than these tears i cry
when hope is gone and the vision too far
here i am, in the arms of a compassionate God.

here i cry to You, mumbled praises from a broken heart
improper prayers interrupted with tears
and You tell me this is how You want it to be
for this prepares me, for what You have in store

when Your grace flows, covering my ugly sins
when the past seemed so much better,
now i learnt to let go. i cant do it all
when the pain comes You are close
closer than these tears.